This Journey, The Fight.


in-love-Valentines-day- pictures

I’ve circled back,
To this moment again,
Rooted to this spot,
Waiting in vain.

Your eyes are shut tight,
You’re struggling to remember,
I look at you and miss,
That grey and dark November.

Such change is here,
Such distances are near,
The comfort of your words,
Has made way for its own fear.

Yes its the same story,
It is yet again, retold,
In silence we strive,
To smile in a life so cold.

It’s journey we’re meant to live,
Of stoic faith and solid hope,
It’s a test of courage,
Like when lovers elope.

At the end, sits a reality,
Meant only for the worthy,
Who’ve done their time,
Renounced pleasure, worldly.

It’s this life, here, right now,
Peace, quiet, and love  is all,
That’s left at the end of the fight,
To the finish line, even if you crawl.

And Just Maybe…


Every so often you come and sit right in the middle of my mind. Every so often, I can only see every single moment I ever spent with you. Every so often I feel weak. Troubled. Tormented and harassed. Every so often. Every time I turn around I see a reminder of what I’ve lived through. Every time I see a boy and a girl walking together I see us. Or what used to be. Every time I drive down that street, I remember the conversation. I remember what I was to you and I’m sorry. Sorry that I was alive in a story that existed only in my head. Where you have taken up too much space for far too long. Its been a year since the masks fell. Its been a year of dragged steps towards a haunted healing and a haunted life. A year where I took two steps forwards and four steps back. Every so often, I feel sorry. I feel sorry for you and sorry for me. I feel sorry for all that couldn’t be. Maybe its a story of two different people, not us. Maybe its all just a story conjured in my head. Maybe. Maybe I was meant to be without you from the very first. Maybe,  just maybe, you were right. Maybe I’m the best that I could be, without you.