The Storm


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I stayed away from the pen,
I shunned all the books,
Stopped feeding my demons,
Dying each day in their fire.

I picked myself up,
And took one day at a time,
My blood gushed with resolve,
To lament no more.

I shed my tired skin,
Let go of the excess baggage,
Gave life a fair shot,
And welcomed the new dawn.

Mythical blessings were nowhere,
None of the delusional lies,
I fell in love with my present,
In spite of all the spite.

A year has since passed,
That girl is long gone,
A woman pens this down instead,
Enlightened after the storm.

A Bit of Me


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After all this time,
And after all these years,
I feel possessed,
By the spirit of the wanderer.

Ever so often in the breeze,
I smell the scent of the sea,
I feel the rays of the sun,
In a city unlike my own.

A picture pulls my mind,
Into its blue blue waters,
The depth of the landscape,
And all I want now, is an escape.

I’d live in an image,
I’d breathe in the air,
The smell of the earth,
In a city, not my own.

Packed bags just sit waiting,
Tired feet waiting to walk,
A mind starved of new thoughts,
Life, just waiting on itself.

And so I collect these pictures,
Pretty pictures of places yet to see,
Of people yet to meet,
And a lil bit of me, yet to know.

All this wrapped up in a bundle,
I set out to see,
To live in my here and now,
And find the missing bit of me.

This Journey, The Fight.


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I’ve circled back,
To this moment again,
Rooted to this spot,
Waiting in vain.

Your eyes are shut tight,
You’re struggling to remember,
I look at you and miss,
That grey and dark November.

Such change is here,
Such distances are near,
The comfort of your words,
Has made way for its own fear.

Yes its the same story,
It is yet again, retold,
In silence we strive,
To smile in a life so cold.

It’s journey we’re meant to live,
Of stoic faith and solid hope,
It’s a test of courage,
Like when lovers elope.

At the end, sits a reality,
Meant only for the worthy,
Who’ve done their time,
Renounced pleasure, worldly.

It’s this life, here, right now,
Peace, quiet, and love  is all,
That’s left at the end of the fight,
To the finish line, even if you crawl.

Without You


Without You

What do I need from you,
Nothing much I guess,
Except perhaps a look,
Making me a mess.

What could I ask for,
What have you not given,
May just be a chance,
To forgive and be forgiven.

What can I possibly now say,
See, I’ve been around a while,
But I’m still looking for something,
That can just like that, make me smile.

Even now, when all is but over,
I just don’t know what to give,
To make us more beautiful,
That call out to us, to live.

What is still missing.
Between you and I,
That poems must remain,
The way you look in my eyes.

I don’t know what to say,
I don’t know what to do,
All I know, my love, is that,
Something’s missing, without you.

Forget, Once In A While.


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And we live on every day,
Calling out to our inner truth,
Sometimes running away,
Just to see another day.

We struggle day after day,
Pulling the weight of the world,
Up along with us to new heights,
Half of ourselves survives the day.

But then a memory creates itself,
A smile spreads  to our fingers,
A rush goes through our heads,
And suddenly the days begin to sparkle.

Just walking along a beach,
With the sand kissing our feet,
Sun shining down on our faces,
And suddenly the weight lifts.

My shoulders are lighter,
Because I forgot for a while,
To pay the price of  material lies,
And breathe in my own life.

I jumped in the water,
Went in bruised, battered and dead,
The sea washed me ashore,
Alive, filled with marvel and surprise.

I challenged myself,
The truth that lies inside,
I came out stronger,
Because I chose to fight.

All this and more,
Are all a gift from life,
For remembering,
To forget once in a while.

Burning Up.


Photo Credits: Ajai Singh

Photo Credits: Ajai Singh

We’re running in a circle,
Faster and faster,
Losing a little each day,
And we burn.

We’re chasing our own tails,
Unaware of the price paid,
We forget a little each day,
And we burn.

We’re handing out our souls,
To earn our pound of flesh,
Playing with fire each day,
So we burn.

Where do we really want to go,
What are we really trying to get,
We’re lost in so many questions,
Elusive are the answers, so we burn.

We say this is the way of life,
But is it really what we’re living for?
We stumble at the hint of honesty,
And we burn.

Restless and tired on the inside,
Confident and  alive on the outside,
We tire ourselves with the charades,
Set ourselves on fire, and burn.

How alive are we when we forget to live,
Wound up in our petty lives,
Running these mad races,
Isn’t enough of us already burnt?

Do we remember the last time,
When we looked up at the sky,
Soaked in the sun, sand and sea,
Enjoyed the tingling of the sun’s burn?

More Than Words


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The clock strikes the hour once again,
The bells toll in their towers,
Once again that moment is back,
When the world seemed to lose all its powers.

Once again I’m back to that night,
When I heard her voice break into a million bits,
When the winds blew once and changed all I knew,
No piece of our life, went back to where it fits.

I miss you today, more than I can say,
I miss your smile more than anything,
Compassion designed every word you said,
You built me up, taught me how to sing.

Everything, every single thing,
Has changed itself over since,
You left and left broken hearts in your wake,
Nothing is same my friend, hence.

You’re at peace, that I know,
I know you’re here too,
I know you’re the voice in my head,
I know my Ogre, I know its you.

Let’s take a ride on your bike again,
Let’s see the brilliance of the light,
Let’s eat all that we can find,
Let’s, for old times sake, let’s fight.

I can never do you justice,
Through my words or my thoughts alone,
I couldn’t ever do you justice,
You’re far greater than anyone I’ve known.

I wish you would come back,
And make everything right again,
You’ve left behind a legacy,
Of great heart, love and pain.

I miss you, that’s all I can say,
More than I can say, I miss you,
I miss my friend, I miss us,
Rest In Peace, in the heaven’s blue.

And Just Maybe…


Every so often you come and sit right in the middle of my mind. Every so often, I can only see every single moment I ever spent with you. Every so often I feel weak. Troubled. Tormented and harassed. Every so often. Every time I turn around I see a reminder of what I’ve lived through. Every time I see a boy and a girl walking together I see us. Or what used to be. Every time I drive down that street, I remember the conversation. I remember what I was to you and I’m sorry. Sorry that I was alive in a story that existed only in my head. Where you have taken up too much space for far too long. Its been a year since the masks fell. Its been a year of dragged steps towards a haunted healing and a haunted life. A year where I took two steps forwards and four steps back. Every so often, I feel sorry. I feel sorry for you and sorry for me. I feel sorry for all that couldn’t be. Maybe its a story of two different people, not us. Maybe its all just a story conjured in my head. Maybe. Maybe I was meant to be without you from the very first. Maybe,  just maybe, you were right. Maybe I’m the best that I could be, without you.

Walls


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I lay brick over brick,
Laboriously I build,
Walls so tall around me,
So no one around can see.

I paint myself invisible,
I hide myself away,
Behind those walls, so mighty,
So no one can touch me, even slightly.

I welcome the night,
It brings with it the darkness,
A blanket, if you will,
Under which I can lie, still.

It’s not my fears,
That make me look away,
It’s the pain of my misery,
It’s us, and our history.

It’s the walking away,
It’s the breaking of hearts,
It’s how you tore me down,
Turned every smile to a frown.

It’s these walls alone,
That can keep me safe,
Away from the eyes,
Away from a love that dies.

I build these walls,
Brick by each brick,
To keep myself hidden,
To save me from the anarchy within.

Forgive & Forget


I wrench my heart,
I expose my soul,
My being has become,
Black as coal.

You look at me,
You’re scared, yes?
You can’t look away,
You’re a bit of a mess.

I saw the truth,
That you ran away from,
I made it mine,
Stood in the eye of the storm.

You look at me,
Trying to find your friend,
But after the cards you played,
I’m afraid it’s our end.

I’ve wrenched my heart,
And now I’m cold,
So I find the will,
To throw out the old.

I twisted my soul,
And now I don’t care,
About you and your fears,
Your substance lies bare.

Walk away now,
While you have a chance
A few lessons wait for you,
Karma does its wicked dance.

I promise you this,
Through all the pain and the sweat,
I’ll walk away smiling,
I will forgive & I will forget.