Never Before.


A quiet night, the usual  silence,

Struggling with my internal violence,

Stiffly I lay, upon my bed,

Enough’s been heard, way too much said.

 

Thinking of us, is my nightly ritual,

Ironically, it feels almost spiritual,

To analyze our divine creation,

My personal brand of drug addiction.

 

I take heart from the light within,

Every new breath feels like a win,

Each day they say, is a small victory,

But to my purpose, survival is contradictory.

 

Just like the pages of a book,

Our story needs a deeper look,

It doesn’t flow, the way it ends,

The author needs to make amends.

 

Every night before I sleep,

Memories rush forth, and I weep,

Clarity grows with passing time,

Of those old days, so divine.

 

This road led to another direction,

Now the destination is the intent’s reflection,

Inverted and distorted it all feels,

With agony and pain, my mind reels.

 

Its been too long since I took a break,

My dedication to us, did not flake,

So be it, that you are not around,

I’ll suffer your silence and bear your rebound.

 

This door shall always been open,

You’ll just find my spirit a little broken,

The pain shall greet you as well,

You must forget the past, don’t dwell.

 

A girl here, for you is waiting,

Her silence may be a little misleading,

A little more time and space for you,

You need not now, wait for a  cue.

 

But should your mind still be in a fix,

Take your time, break the hex,

Love means not having to give a reason,

I’ll wait for you, through every season.

 

These are the words I leave you with,

We are real, true love’s no myth,

Close your eyes, you’ll see me clearly,

I’ve never before, missed you so dearly.